So I'd have to say me. That's no disrespect to Danoz; his ability to get silly is legendary. But mine is unparalleled in the history of mankind.
Why? Give us an example.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.
Have you got a nickname/s?
I have several:
The Miraculous Mister Excellent
Everyone's Favourite Person
The Guy That Did the Thing that Everyone Likes
Supremely Handsome yet Humble Benny
…just to name a few. None of them have caught on yet, but I'm confident that it's only a matter of time.
Where do you hail from?
I hail down from the sky in a furiously malevolent storm of ice like the unbridled wrath of Zeus himself.
How many years playing footy?
I think about 12 or so.
Years playing for NDAFC?
About 11 I think.
Who's your team in the AFL and why?
The Swans. Predominantly because I am a fan of honouring names by day and by night, lifting noble banners high, shaking down the thunder from the sky, and being a loyal son who goes marching onwards to victory.
Favourite position (footy)?
I may be the only person in history who is both 6 foot tall or shorter and also enjoys playing the ruck more than anywhere else. I also highly enjoy standing up the front of the bus.
Most memorable footy moment (on or off the field)?
So many good moments both on and off the field, but I'll have to go with getting our first and only win of the season in the last game against Shellharbour a few years ago. I'd had an extremely shitty week (wife left me) and it didn't look like I was going to get a game (coach was a knob) until T.Green (legend) stepped in and made sure I got picked. I'm always pretty emotional after games, but the feeling of going from the worst week of my life to battling it out and finally winning a game, then getting to hug my brother and my dad on the field afterwards was simply indescribable.
Favourite quote or inspirational words...
"I used to be in awe of the strength it takes to remain standing against all odds, until I found out what it takes to get up again after falling down."
- Benny Forsyth
What do you like about NDAFC?
Short answer: Everything.
Longer answer: The fact that the Tigers are my family. I've never met a better group of people, and I still get a tingle down my spine every single time I pull the jumper on. To paraphrase 10cc: I don't like the NDAFC. I LOVE it.
What gets your goat?
Gareth the Goat-stealer always manages to get my goat. But one day I'll catch him, and then we'll see who's boss.
If you weren't playing footy, what would you be doing?
Being injured, complaining about not playing footy. I actually spend more time doing that than playing footy.
What do you do for a crust?
When things are going well, I work for the NSW State Emergency Service. When they aren't, I beg my parents for money
Who do you nominate for the next player profile, and what is the one question you would ask them?
Josh McLarnen: Do you remember that time on Silly Sunday one year when we were really drunk and I beat you in a wrestle? Because I remember it quite well.